The trust is broken, and you don't know if you'll ever feel safe again.


Betrayal Trauma & Couples Counseling in Memphis, TN

After Betrayal, Everything Feels Unsafe

You found out, and the ground gave way. Now you can't stop the images, can't sleep, can't concentrate, and can't understand how someone you trusted could do this. One moment you want answers, the next you want to run. People around you say you should be over it by now, and that makes you feel even more alone. 

Or maybe you're the one who caused the wound. You see the pain in your partner's eyes, you want to make it right, and everything you try seems to make it worse. You don't know how to rebuild what you broke. 

Wherever you're standing, the connection is fractured and neither of you can repair it alone. That's not a failure. That's what betrayal does, and it's exactly what the right help is for. 

A Guide Who Has Walked Couples Through This Before

I'm Allan J. Katz, a licensed counselor, Certified Sex Addiction Therapist, and betrayal trauma specialist. For more than TEN years I've helped betrayed partners heal and couples rebuild after infidelity, porn discovery, and sexual betrayal. I've written books on this exact wound, including Ambushed by Betrayal for the partner who was hurt and contributed to the work behind Help Her Heal. I hold space for both people: the one who was betrayed and the one who wants to make it right, and I keep the process honest and safe for both. 

Photo of Therapist, Allan J. Katz

How Trust Gets Rebuilt

The betrayed partner heals first, not last.

Your pain isn't a side issue to the addiction. Betrayal is trauma, and you are treated as a survivor in your own right, with a safe place to stabilize and heal. 

Honesty and accountability replace secrecy.

Trust can't rebuild on more half-truths. We create the conditions for real disclosure and genuine accountability, so safety can slowly return. 

You rebuild intimacy on purpose.

With the right structure, couples don't just survive betrayal. They build a more honest, connected relationship than they had before, if they choose to. 

Betrayal Is Trauma, and It's Treated That Way Here 
If you're the betrayed partner, what you're feeling is not you overreacting. The racing thoughts, the hypervigilance, the need to check, the waves of grief and rage, these are trauma responses, the same ones we see after any shattering event. Too many partners get rushed to forgive before they've been allowed to heal. Here, your trauma comes first. We help your nervous system settle and your sense of safety return before any talk of rebuilding, because healing that skips the wound never holds.

The Approaches I Use 

I use trauma-informed approaches chosen for what betrayal actually does to the mind and body: 

Brainspotting

Reaches the trauma of discovery held in the body, helping release the intrusive images and physical panic that talk alone can't touch. 

Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT).

Skills for surviving the emotional flooding of betrayal, so you can steady yourself in the hardest moments.

Experiential & Couples Work

Structured, active work that rebuilds communication, empathy, and emotional safety between partners, one honest step at a time.

Frequently Asked Questions

Can our marriage really survive this?

Many couples not only survive betrayal. They build something more honest afterward. It takes willingness from both people and the right guidance. The first step is getting each of you stable enough to make a clear-eyed choice. 

I was betrayed. Why do I need therapy? I'm not the one who did something wrong.

You're not in therapy because you did something wrong. You're there because you were wounded, and betrayal trauma is real and treatable. This is about your healing, whatever your partner does. 

Do you work with just one partner, or both?

Both. I work with betrayed partners individually, with the partner who caused the harm, and with the couple together, depending on what each situation needs. 

Do you take insurance and offer online sessions?

Yes to both. I'm the only CSAT in Memphis who takes insurance, and I offer in-person sessions plus secure telehealth across Tennessee and New Jersey. 

Not Ready for Therapy Yet? Start Here.

Sometimes you're not ready to pick up the phone, and that's okay. You can start privately, at your own pace, with a book in your hands. Allan has written and contributed to several that meet you exactly where you are. 

Ambushed by Betrayal.

Ambushed by Betrayal.

A survival guide for betrayed partners finding their footing after discovery and beginning the journey back to healthy intimacy. 

Navigating Phases of Sex Addiction Recovery.

Navigating Phases of Sex Addiction Recovery.

A clear map of what recovery actually looks like, stage by stage, for the person doing the work of getting and staying sober, and the distractions which lead to potential relapse.

Help Her Heal.

Help Her Heal.

For the partner who caused the wound and wants to understand how to be empathic , take responsibility, and truly help their partner heal.

Start with a book today, and reach out when you're ready for the next step. 

Browse Allan's Books →      Or Book a Free 15-Minute Consultation →